I Dated a Married Man

Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

Dear Readers,

It’s me again 🤍

How are you doing? I am sure you are surprised two letters in 5 days, I am sure you are wandering if I have repented and now consistent, worry no more because I have changed

I saw a video today and it instantly reminded me of how stupid I once was in love. I’ve shared the video that triggered this memory below—where I also tell my story.

Now, let me give you the full gist.

Picture this.

I had been friends with this guy since my undergraduate days. We didn’t date back then, even though he was toasting me—I didn’t accept.

Fast forward a few years after university and NYSC, we reconnected on Telegram (desperation is truly a sin). He asked again, and this time, I said yes. That was how we officially started this thing called a relationship.

Looking back, I should have suspected something early on.

He couldn’t take calls after getting home because he was “too tired.”

I couldn’t visit his place because he lived with his aunt and didn’t want to introduce me yet—apparently, she was “a little bit troublesome.”

Whenever we went out together, I usually ended up paying. Either his ATM wasn’t working or his bank app was “having issues.” I didn’t think too much of it because, why not? He was my man and I could assist.

At some point, he even told me he was building a house in Ikorodu and asked me to help him transfer ₦30,000 to the labourers. He promised to send my money back once his app started working.

Maybe tomorrow, sha.

The straw that broke the camel’s back came one day when we were out together and someone saw him and greeted him with:

“Iyawo nko? Ati omo?”

That was when it finally dawned on me—this man was married.

I confronted him immediately. He became defensive and started lying. He claimed he wasn’t married, that he only had a baby mama who cheated on him. He even said he doubted his son was his until he did a DNA test.

I told him the truth:

He was too broke to have conducted a DNA test.

I asked him why he lied about being married—especially since I had asked him directly at the beginning. He insisted he didn’t lie, said he loved me, and claimed he wanted to marry me. The full “whole nine yards.”

Anyway, my mouth cannot fully say what I saw—or how much of my money went into that relationship.

And that’s why I support the tweet I shared below. If I have the means and the money to buy my man a car, I will. Love isn’t the problem—sense is.

Have you ever been in a crazy relationship?

I’d really love to hear your story.

Till I write again,

Loads of love,

Titilola 💌